I pray that the "doubt decay" in my heart can be cleaned out and replaced with "confidence wax". Really, when I thought about it, my fears about my children's future and anything that I am afraid of because of doubt causes decay in my heart. Well, anyway I trace my mean actions to fears I have. I also thought of the scripture about waxing confident in the Lord. We may not know what our children will turn out to be, but I think Heavenly Father saved them for their generation because they are better than us! (As each generation leading up to Christ's second coming should be.) The adversary whispers thoughts into my mind such as, "What if he grows up to do drugs?... What if she has sex before she's married?" Then I tense up and it effects how hard I am on my kids. I was being taught by the missionaries out of the Preach My Gospel manual one time, I don't recall what chapter we were on, and it occured to me that having faith does not mean understanding something fully. If we understood one another fully then it would be knowledge, and faith would not be required.
I prayed this morning that in our family we would love one another and be encouraging and supportive to each other as we each progress at different paces. That means if one of my children excells while the other struggles, they are both still making progress just at different paces. It causes frustration, believe me. I need to accept rather than expect. Patience, temperance, and brotherly kindness...
Anyway, I turned the radio on coming home from karate and I received this prompting, "Turn the radio off, I have an answer for you." The song Follow the Prophet came to mind only replacing the word Prophet with Prompting. If I can get this jingle in my mind, "Follow the Promptings, follow the promptings, follow the promptings, I know the wa-ay" then I can be reminded throughout the day that when I get frustrated with a child, I need to listen to the promptings I get. Never does the spanking spoon, sassy suace, or naughty step work long term and I feel awful doing them, but the most valuable and behavior-changing lessons I can give are those of Christlike love. However, I only receive that guidance through promptings from the Holy Ghost. So here's to cleansing my heart of the "doubt decay" and rebuilding it with faith and confidence!
7 comments:
I love that you are open about these things. I can really relate. I recieve similar promptings, and while I have faith in the correctness of it, and I have definitely become a better person and mother over the years, there still seems to be this huge time delay between when I feel a loving chastizement and when I am able to enact it in my life.
Last night as we were reading scriptures, Katy asked me how Lamen and Lemuel could have become "passed feeling" with the Holy Ghost when they had good parents and we had a great little talk about how even Heavenly Father's spirit children turned against his plan and that ultimately, it is up to an individual to do what is necessary to maintain a relationship with God in their lives(ie. prayer, scripture study, good works).
I know that all we can do is teach them correct principles, enforce those with our example, and build bonds of love. It's scary sometimes, but all we can do is love them.
Thanks for this reminder and for helping feel "knit together" in our purpose of motherhood today, Audrey.
Audrey you write so beautifully. I always love how you are open to talk about anything.
I often feel the same way Audrey. Sometime I wonder why I don't have the same patience for my own children that I seem to have for others. I worry that my children will grow up and grow astray due to some psychological damage I have inflicted upon them. (Too much time in the corner, too much spanking, too much sarcasm....) Then I remember that I can only try to due my best, and leave everything else in God's hands. I know that should my children go astray that God will be there for me and he knows my pain. None of us are perfect(if we were we wouldn't be here) God himself is perfect and omnicient(I think I spelled that wrong) and even he has experienced the pain of a wayward child. I guess it must just be an inherent part of having free will. I can only imagine that maybe when Lucifer was being such a pain God wanted to put him on the naughty step too. That said, you are a wonderful mother, your children love you, you love them and that is what matters.
You really are a great writer! I just love reading ANYTHING you post!
Fears is an understatement! Me, being a convert of the church, I just hope and pray that my kids will follow the good! From the age of 12-24 I prayed EVERY night that I would one day have an eternal family that would know how important the gospel is.
Well, I have that now but what does the future hold??Holy heck....???? I just teach my kids every day that there are to be NO EMTEY SEATS in that temple. I share my testimony and my love for the gospel daily and I hope that's enough?
Thanks for this! I needed to read this for sure!!! You rock!!!
I think we all tend to do things like that. I sometimes worry if what we are doing will be enough the keep them safe from satan's grasp. I just pray everyday that they will always have the holy ghost with them to keep them safe.
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