How was your Thanksgiving Holiday? Was it a relief to get out of everyday routines and recharge your strength by being around family? Was it stressful travelling? Or, were the memories-in-making tainted by gossip and awkwardness? ...
The reason for this post is to point out that each person in our families immediate and extended, near and far, have a need to be loved and validated. I KNOW that the adversary works very hard to destroy families. His goal is to break up strong ones like yours and mine and since we are hard to crack, he has to employ the sneakiest strategies he can.
Do you remember the story in the scriptures about a man who wanted to eliminate his brother, the king, marry his wife, and become the ruler? He administered poison by drops into his brother's ear until it finally brought the king to his death. I believe that our words can be used to uplift and strengthen, or can act as a poisoning agent, damaging to all who hear.
I would like to hear from the reader-contributers what things your parents and siblings do to reach out to one another that bring your awesome families together and so unified. I'd also like to hear what would help you feel more valued in your families.
I'll go first~ My husband's parents include all of their children and their spouses when discussing and planning get-togethers. To feel loved and valued, I like to be able to share my opinion and I also LOVE to get hugs.
7 comments:
good question audrey! unity is not a strong point for us....but we are trying. i feel closer to my family though when i see how much effort they make when there is a gathering....and when everybody has a part in it. i loved preparing for thanksgiving with my sister the night before. it is a good memory. i don't like feeling like all the weight is on one person. i like nice words the most.
Sorry I can't help you. I come from a very negative family on both sides. I could use A LOT of advice to stop this from happening with my kids.
I guess what I like is just a good dose of pragmatism rooted in correct priorities. I think the holidays come with a LOT of expectations and supposed-to-be's. I know, "Yah, Jill, it's called TRADITION", but I really appriciate someone who is willing to roll with the punches and make the best of something. I guess basically a "Come What May And Love It" approach. I like to make things beautiful and special, but as we all know, even the best laid plans often go astray. I want to be around people who feel thankful even without a feast and who truly think it's better to give than recieve. And I want to be more that way too!
I feel valued when I'm able to express the way I feel without any kind of backlash. I have always made a concious effort to realize we all are different and think differently. I feel everyone needs that respect. I like it in return. I'm discovering it's something that takes a lot of practice.
I also love hugs. Nothing makes me feel more safe than a hug!
I know one of the biggest stresses in my in -law family is equal division of parents gift giving. And unfortunately it seems my husband is always the brother (good guy) of the "prodigal son"-i know it may be shallow to care but my husband sees a direct relationship & it sad. My parents alled a certain amount of money to each child over the years put it in an account & then withdrew for cars, college, weddings, help etc. It's nice not to have to have to compete with my siblings about that-we just compete now for my moms time.
I like that my family can welcome anyone into their home and they won't feel uncomfortable. I like in Darrell's family that his siblings all make me feel like I'm one of the older wiser- no pun intended- family member. I'm one of the youngest in my family so there are a lot of opinions that are usually heard over mine- Darrell's family it's opposite. I love to get hugs also from both family members- real hugs not the fake half hugs!
Alissa were you talking about the Taylor hugs? (that's what Dustin calls them)
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